Any Way You Dream It Read online

  After all, hadn’t she won all those years ago? She’d stolen my boyfriend and pretty much drove me out of town. Why did she still think I couldn’t get a guy like Chase?

  “Big chip on her shoulder, that one,” said Todd Kowalski this time.

  “Huh?”

  “She was always jealous of you. Always. You don’t think she took Jacob for Jacob, do you? She took him because you had him.”

  “Really?” That seemed so… sad. “But I was never a threat to her.”

  “You were a perceived threat, Lucy. Smart, pretty, kind, likeable. And all on your own with no family support. Somehow you were still making it and doing a better job of succeeding than she was.”

  “I never saw it that way.”

  “Of course not.” He shrugged. “We’re not that good at that stuff when we’re teenagers. Heck, some of us aren’t great at it as adults.”

  That was a lot to process.

  “You’re a smart guy, Todd. How come you’re still single?”

  “Asked and answered. Because I’m a smart guy, I’m single,” he said before heading off to the bar to refill his beer.

  There was more to that story; I didn’t recall him being such a cynic. Maybe people did change.

  Chase and Patty both came back to the table.

  “Would you mind giving us a moment?” Patty asked him.

  His face searched mine.

  I nodded. “I could use a drink.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I watched him walk away. I’d brought Chase with me to protect me, but the truth was, this was one demon I need to face all on my own.

  “So?” I said.

  “Chase seems nice.”

  “Yeah, he’s really a great guy. I feel really lucky to have met him.” No lie there.

  “You guys don’t seem like you’d work.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, you know… such different backgrounds.”

  “Yeah. But as they say: opposites attract. It keeps life interesting.”

  “Still, he’s going to be a lot to handle. A guy like that, travelling all the time…”

  “I guess you have to trust people when you love them. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.” I really didn’t want to take the bait.

  “Still, he’ll have so much opportunity.” She really wasn’t backing down.

  “I don’t think fidelity is about opportunity, Patty. It’s a matter of character.” I knew Chase and if we were in a committed relationship he would never cheat. He was not that guy.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Relationships end all the time. There are lots of ways to end them. Cheating on someone rather than dealing with the issues, that’s a choice. It shows the character of the person and the person they cheat with. Who knows if anyone will forever? Even you and Jacob for that matter? At this point, I’d be more worried about Jacob cheating than Chase because he has a track record…”

  “Jacob would never cheat on me.” She hissed.

  “Why not? Because you’re soul mates? Because you’re better than me? Because you’ll take him for every penny? I don’t know anything about your relationship. In truth, I don’t even know you anymore so how can I really say? Then again, you know even less about Chase. Perhaps you should reserve your judgement.”

  “Just because you weren’t good enough for Jacob…” Her voice was getting louder. Some heads near us turned. Things were about to get interesting. “And because your mother was a… tramp—”

  “Patty, I said it to Jacob and I’ll say it to you. You did me a favor. By ‘taking’ him from me, you set me free to leave, which was the best thing for me. I have a nice life, great friends, a gorgeous fiancée and an amazing job, but more than that, I don’t see myself through your eyes anymore.”

  “What does that even mean?” She stood hands on hips staring me down. People were definitely watching now and not even trying to hide their interest

  “You looked at me and saw trash. Poor Lucy, her dad ran off, her mom’s a drunk and a tramp… That wasn’t me; that was my circumstances. You and Jacob and his family had me believing I was my circumstances. I forgot to look beyond that and see my potential. I was smart, hardworking, driven, generous… I lost sight of those things looking through your eyes. Going away and seeing myself through other perspectives was what I needed to succeed and be happy. So, thanks.”

  “You’re thanking me? You don’t get to thank me. I have everything you wanted.”

  “No, you don’t. You have everything you wanted. At least, I hope you do so that cheating with my boyfriend was worth selling your soul for.”

  Chase wrapped his arm around me as he handed me my drink. “I’d really like to dance again.”

  “Me, too.”

  I felt Patty’s eyes on us as he led me on to the dance floor all eyes on us, then leaned in to whisper, “You are awesome.”

  “Thanks, bit I’m shaking.”

  “I can feel that. It’s adrenaline. I won’t let you fall.”

  With his strong arms around me, and the way he looked at me, I knew he was right. He wouldn’t let me fall; now I simply had to stop myself from falling for him, though it was probably too late for that.

  “Thanks. And thanks for coming. It really—”

  He put a finger to my lips. “You didn’t really need me. You could have done this all by yourself. Having said that, I’ve been honored to come with you.”

  He pulled me closer and gently kissed my forehead as we danced to one of Celine Dion’s greatest hits. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Patty waving her arms and telling Jacob something. I hoped they were happy. But with Chase holding me close I really didn’t care about them. I wanted to enjoy the moment.

  Chapter 16

  Lying on a picnic blanked by the river, drinking cheap wine and listening to bad music on someone’s radio, surrounded by old friends, was a pretty special way to end the evening. Chase was sitting next to me, laughing at one of Todd’s very bad jokes.

  Marissa lay on her stomach in front of me, legs crossed, looking exactly as I remembered her. Well, apart from the wine and the sexy dress. She was reminiscing about our eighth grade trip to DC. It reminded me that my sister and her then-fiancé, my future brother-in-law, had scraped together the money for me to go. That made me sad. I missed Joe and I really missed that version of Minnie. I hoped she’d find her way back.

  I could feel Chase’s arm pressed against mine as he poured more wine into my plastic cup.

  “Remember, how we got lost at the Smithsonian and we thought everyone had left without us, but we were at the wrong door?” Marissa asked.

  “I remember wishing they had. We thought it would be so exciting to be locked in and stay the night.”

  “We were ahead of our time. I think Ben Stiller stole our idea for a movie.”

  “Yeah, Marissa, you two were the only people ever to have that idea,” Todd teased.

  “Oh well. We survived DC, high school, and the reunion. That deserves a toast.” Mike raised his beer.

  “To surviving.”

  “I guess I wasn’t the only one dreading the reunion,” I said.

  “Are you kidding?” Mike laughed. “I had Patty on my case wanting newspaper stories weekly. It was a reunion, not Watergate.”

  “She made me design eight versions of the invitation. Eight. And then she chose the first one,” Todd’s voice was full of frustration.

  “I had to go shopping three times to choose her outfit and answer the who-are-you-bringing question almost daily for six months,” Marissa added. “She knew I wasn’t bringing anyone.”

  “She sounds like a peach,” Chase topped up our wine glasses.

  “Poor Jacob. I know you got burned, Lucy, but that guy is being punished daily for his sins,” Todd said skipped a stone across the river.

  “Todd!” Marissa smacked his leg.

  “He speaks the truth,” Mike said. “She’s a nightmare. And then, when you said you were
coming with a fiancé…” He squealed the last part in a perfect girly voice. “It went to a whole other level of hysteria.”

  I kind of felt bad in a way for bringing Chase, not because of Patty, but for the additional suffering I’d caused the town.

  “Well, it’s all over now. Life can return to normal.”

  “Yeah, but that means you’re leaving,” Marissa sighed. “I like having you back. It feels like old times. “

  “I know. I guess I kind of forgot about the good bits in my race to get out of Dodge.”

  “Well remember not to forget again,” she said, patting my leg.

  “You should come visit,” Chase said. “By which I mean, come and stay at my place. There’s plenty of room. Lucy is still living in the city during the week, but not forever and not on weekends. Well, not unless we get a city place, too. We haven’t worked that out yet. Anyway, come down and stay anytime.”

  It was sweet that he was offering, keeping the pretense alive, but I wasn’t going to be moving to Marblehead, and he and I were definitely not buying a place together in Boston. I guess when I eventually told them that we broke up, Marissa could stay with me. I’d have a bigger place by then.

  But I didn’t want to think about that. Whatever happened when I got home was going to be very, very complicated.

  “You should definitely come to Boston and visit wherever I’m living. Maybe give it a few weeks ’til things settle down with Minnie.”

  “I will. And do you want to tell me the full story of what’s up with Minnie?” Marissa asked me.

  “Not really. It’s a total buzz-kill. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

  “Sure, I’m here if you need me.” She took a swig of wine. “Was it weird seeing Jacob again? Were there any feelings?”

  Her tone was hushed so Chase wouldn’t hear, I guess. His attention had drifted back to the boys and he was talking journalism with Mike.

  “Not the kind you’re talking about. I felt sad, actually. I mean, it’s pretty unrealistic to expect to marry your high school boyfriend, and I guess I was probably always more in love with what he represented than with him, but, in retrospect… Maybe I’m a crazy sentimentalist, but I don’t think things needed to end the way they did.”

  “I agree. I guess though in small towns that’s one of the issues. What if you take a chance and it fails? You still have to see that person around town.”

  “Unless you run away and never come back like me.” I flipped over onto my stomach. “Are we talking about anyone in particular? “

  “Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know.” We both knew exactly who we were talking about. A certain newspaper editor she bumped into several times a week—and obviously had feelings for if the way she looked at him when she thought no one was watching was any indication.

  “Sometimes it’s worth taking a risk, Marissa. It might not end badly. Or at all.”

  “Like you and Chase,” Her tone was soft and wistful. Man I felt bad about lying to her.

  “Did I hear me name?” my pseudo-fiancé asked.

  Chase was definitely worth taking a risk on for the right girl but that wasn’t me because Chase didn’t do relationships, and coming home had shown me one thing: I was lonely. I missed that sense of belonging, and once the kids went back to their mother, I was going to be very much alone again. It was time I decided what I wanted from my life and went after it.

  Sitting there, I had a revelation. Everything I had ever done had been a reaction. I dated Jacob as a reaction to my circumstances. I moved to Boston as a reaction to Joe’s illness. I was at Pied Piper’s Pies because I needed a job and took the first one offered. Even being here with Chase was because Patty forced my hand.

  It was time to start doing things for my own benefit. Making the choices that were going to make me happy. I just had no idea what they were, and with Chase’s arm around me, I couldn’t help but think it was a shame that I couldn’t choose Chase and let him make me very happy indeed.

  “I wish we could sleep out here under the stars like we used to,” Marissa said.

  “You guys stayed out all night? “His voice rose in surprise.

  “Yup. We all told our folks we were going to Lucy’s and her mom had no idea where we were so…”

  “Good old Mom.” I quipped.

  “It sounds like there were some advantages. I was locked up in boarding school until I went to college. No all-night sleep outs for me.”

  “It makes it sound sexier than it was,” I figured he was imagining things quite differently to how they had been.. “It was usually girls only, but sometimes the boys would crash. Usually, though, it was girl talk and cheap wine.”

  “Oh two of my favorite things,” Chase said swigging his beer

  Mine, too,” Marissa smiled up at him. “Sometimes being a grown-up isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

  “Most times,” I had to agree. “What about that time we all decided to go skinny-dipping?”

  “You girls were skinny-dipping? Crap, how’d we miss that?” Todd asked.

  “Probably off playing Dungeons and Dragons or some other weirdo game,” Marissa threw a beer cap at him.

  “You could do it now. You know, relive the moment.”

  “That’s so kind of you, Todd.” I laughed and threw an empty bottle of him. “I think we’ll leave that one for the memories.”

  “We could all go. Make some new memories.”

  “If you think I’m getting arrested for indecent exposure, Todd Kowalski, you are crazy,” Marissa added.

  “A guy’s got to try,” he said.

  “Amen to that,” Chase threw him a beer, a full one, not an empty bottle.

  “Maybe we could skip tomorrow’s festivities?” I said Chase.

  “Because you’ll have a hangover?” Mike asked. “That excuse won’t cut it.”

  “Yes and because this is so nice, why mess with it? Sometimes it is best to leave on a high. I mean what if tomorrow sucks?”

  “We all have to go,” Mike said. “We’re all on a committee.”

  “We don’t.” I said.

  “Please come. Bring the kids. They’ll enjoy it and I’ll get to see you again.” Marissa wanted us to go.

  My heart told me no—heck, even my head told me no—but I knew I’d relent because I felt like I had already been such a slack friend to her, I owed her a day at least

  Chase’s arm was around my shoulders, my high heels were looped over my finger, I had a mild wine buzz happening, and as we walked back to my mother’s house, I was about as happy as I could remember being.

  “Your friends are nice, Lucy.”

  “Yeah, they are. It’s nice to reconnect.”

  “You should stay in touch. And visit more.”

  “I don’t know about that last part.”

  “Memories?”

  “So very many. Let’s not ruin the moment.”

  He stopped and turned me to him. He placed one hand on each shoulder and smiled down at me. “We could improve the moment.”

  “I don’t think it could be any better.”

  “I do.” He leaned in to claim my mouth.

  It was a kiss full of promise and tenderness. It was the kiss of someone who really liked me.

  I slid my arms around his neck and he pulled me tight against him. Chase was right; this was the only thing that could have improved the evening.

  Chapter 17

  I sat on the porch swing, drinking coffee. I was so tired, but I hadn’t managed to get much sleep.

  I looked at the familiar streetscape of my old neighborhood. The same houses that looked almost unchanged, and yet they looked different to me. Maybe it was because I’d changed and saw them through new eyes. Maybe it was because our house looked neat and homey like the rest. I wasn’t ashamed anymore or worried someone was coming to complain about the noise or the state of the place. I wasn’t worried Child Protection Services would knock on the door to take me away.

  The screen door banged as
Kevin came out.

  “Oh, hi,” he said. “I didn’t know you were out here.”

  I noticed he had one cigarette and a lighter.

  “Hard habit to break?”

  “Yeah.” He shrugged. “I keep trying, but I’ve already given up so much. I let myself have one in the morning and one each night.”

  “That seems fair enough. They’ll kill you, though.” “So I’ve heard.” He took a slow drag. “So how was the reunion?”

  “It was...” How was it? I didn’t even know if I knew. “Better than expected. Surprising.”

  “How so?” He took a long drag of his cigarette.

  “It was good to see people I hadn’t seen in a long time. To reconnect.”

  “Sure. You put some demons to rest.”

  “Maybe. Maybe I just put them in perspective.”

  He didn’t say anything for a while. We both sat quietly watching the yard.

  “I want you to know I really love your mom.”

  “I can see that. You two seem good for each other.”

  “I think so. I liked her for a long time and we knew each other on and off.”

  I didn’t know what that meant. Didn’t want to. “Okay?”

  “I feel real bad because I knew she was struggling, and I knew about you...”

  “It’s all right, Kevin.” I wanted him to know I didn’t blame him.

  “Not really it’s not. I was sober for a while when she wasn’t—when you were a kid. I should have reached out.”

  “That isn’t how it works.”

  He took the final drag of his smoke. “I do. Some people aren’t good at being alone. I guess that’s your mom.”

  “Yeah and some of us didn’t get a choice.”

  “You’ve got a choice now, though. You and Chase could work. He really likes you.”

  “We’re too different.”

  “I don’t think you’re as different as you think. You both crave family…”

  I stood up. I liked Kevin, but I wasn’t ready to take life-advice from him. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “No, you won’t,” he said to my back. “But you should.”

  ***